1. I've had emotional problems ever since I can remember. I was officially diagnosed with major depression when I was thirteen, and it's never completely gone away. Pregnancy hormones on top of the stress of moving to a new city are going to be so much fun!
2. I work at Planned Parenthood and participate in abortions on a daily basis. This is actually not complicated for me, but apparently it is for other people. This is planned. This is one of the most overly planned pregnancies in the history of parenthood.
3. I'm getting too old for this shit. I'm going to be almost 33 when I start trying to conceive, and if conception takes a while, I could be 34 by the time I deliver. That's not exactly high risk for a first delivery, but it's probably going to be a little more complicated than it would be if I were ten years younger.
4. I've never really lived anywhere outside Chicago. I lived in England for 51 weeks once, and it was terrible. I'm scared that I'm going to hate Seattle and be stuck there for two years. From what I've seen, I don't think I will, but the hills and the weather are my greatest geographical concerns.
5. My cats are total assholes. If I didn't have them, or they got along with other animals even a little bit, I could try to get a roommate situation, but most places either already have animals or don't have them for a good reason. I have a possible roommate from Chicago in the form of L, but she's applying to grad school in a couple of different places and there's no guarantee she'll move to Seattle with me for the fall. Being able to afford a place on a new entry level income is going to be tough, but I'm sure I'll figure something out.
I'm sure there are more complications I could thing of if I gave it a few minutes, but let me move on to my faq.
What if you want to keep the baby?
Even if I really really want to keep the baby when its born, I'm not going to do it. I'm barely able to take care of my cats, let alone a totally helpless human infant. Also, I volunteered my services in October 2008. If all goes according to plan, I'll be delivering on fall of 2012. I will have spent four years emotionally distancing myself from the baby. Yes, I'm probably going to be sad when I turn the baby over, but I'm also going to be happy, because that will be the fruition of years of planning and work. Also, I'm going to be in this baby's life. Just because I'm not personally living with it or raising it doesn't mean it isn't going to know who I am.
What's wrong with the real mom that she can't have kids? (yes, I've been asked that)
There is no real mom, but there are two dads. I'm super good friends with one of them, and moderately good friends with the other one, which I figure averages out to "very good".
Whose eggs are you going to use, then?
I'm using my own eggs. I find this to be a really weird question, like they've got five grand to spend on a stranger's eggs when I've got perfectly good eggs right here that I'm not even doing anything with.
So are you going to have sex with both of them and just not know who the biological father is?
First of all, I'm not having sex with either of them. I work at Planned Parenthood, remember? Sex does not equal babies, and babies do not equal sex. Second of all, we know exactly who the biological father is going to be. We're really not going into this whole pregnancy thing half assed. We've actually thought about it.
Are they going to pay you for carrying their baby?
Nope. Aside from being illegal in Washington state, also the dads are not loaded. They're doing well enough that I'm not worried about them raising a kid, but they also don't have the kind of cash this kind of venture usually involves. They shouldn't be denied the opportunity to have kids just because they don't have the right reproductive organs or tons of money. They will, however, pay all legal fees and medical expenses. Were not going to go crazy with fertility treatments, but being pregnant is not cheap.
What if they turn out to be bad parents?
What if you turn out to be a bad parent? No one knows how they're going to do as a parent in advance, but that doesn't stop straight people from having kids all the time. I trust them to make a good faith effort at being good parents, and only time will tell how well they succeeded, same as everybody. Also, if this is the polite way of asking, "What if all gay men are actually pedophiles?" then clearly you have the wrong blog.
This is my story. I will tell it as it happens. If I can get Discovery Channel to do a reality series and pay me a bunch of money about it, so much the better.
